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  • Ashiya Khan-Sequeira

Relationship With Self


Valentine’s Day has come and gone. For some, this is a difficult time, if they are not in a relationship. The commercialization of Valentine’s Day makes it hard to ignore the importance this holiday puts on romantic relationships. Some of the questions that may go through your mind are “why am I not in a relationship”? What is wrong with me? Why do I not have a special person in my life”?. These types of questions are self-destructive and lead you down a path of negativity. It is important to keep things in perspective and start focusing on what you do have. You have yourself. More helpful questions to ask are the following: “How is my relationship with myself? How do I take care of my needs? To be in a healthy relationship with others you first need to create a healthy relationship with yourself. Here is a list that can help you to explore the relationship you have with yourself.

1. Journal – write your thoughts , feelings and goals

2. Write a letter to “yourself”:– list your positive traits, needs, wants and accomplishments

3. Connect with nature –go for a walk, watch the birds, smell the fresh air, go to the mountains

4. Take a positive risk – join a group or start a hobby

5. Reach out to someone - get in touch with a friend or family member

6. Remember and imagine times when you have felt joyful and happy

7. Remember and journal times when you felt sad, lonely, or disappointed. Then write down how you would handle the same situation today, without being critical of yourself.

8. Treat “yourself”- get a massage, manicure, take a bubble bath or order a meal for yourself

9. Write down a positive intention for your hopes or dreams and then send it out to the universe

When you start being kind to yourself and taking care of your needs you can gain more confident. By getting to know yourself better you will be able to offer more in a relationship. Once you have good insight of yourself then you will be more likely to attract healthy people in your life. Treat yourself with love and respect and start noticing the difference it can make in your mood and everyday experiences. It is important to discover who you are and start getting in touch with your needs!


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